[googlefe70ee20d37f2963.html]

Know Your Body – Why It Is Important To Listen To It!

What an odd topic – know your  body? What does that even mean? Well let me tell you! The last two days have been crazy and exhausting… but I have learned some very important lessons. This whole post is about pregnancy/labor, so I apologize to those of you that this doesn’t apply. However, for any medical experiences it is important to know that no one knows your body like you do. Today I learned how important that is!

know your body Our Backstory

A week ago from today we were sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for an ultrasound to see if our little girl was down syndrome or if she had grown out of her symptoms. It was scary, but we saw another miracle when we looked at the screen to not only see a healthy baby, but a 5 1/2 lb. baby girl advancing at an early stage. Our doctor was shocked to see this 35 week appearing baby when I was only 33 weeks along. We were told that we wouldn’t be making it full term with this baby and that she was healthy and advanced in her development. Great and relieving news! We went over every detail of what to expect in pre-term labor and when I needed to head to triage.

This is important!! Find yourself an amazing doctor who listens to you and never dismisses your feelings! If you have a doctor like this, it is not worth it and you need to find another one! I am so grateful that my doctor has never dismissed my feelings and has always respected the questions that I have.

Our Present Story – Sunday

Fast forward about 4 days and the questions that I had asked my doctor were coming true. I experienced a whole day of very irregular, but very real feeling contractions. Real as in Braxton Hicks.. but like serious Braxton Hicks haha these were not small. I didn’t think too much of it but then I felt them throughout the entire night. I woke my husband up at 6:30am on Sunday, Jan 29th and told him that I needed to go to the hospital – and soon. We hurried up and got everything ready and then headed to the hospital. I had contractions the entire way to the hospital and then in the bathroom as I left my urine sample… but nooo of course they stop completely as soon as I am hooked up on the monitor haha. Of course!

I got “one of those” nurses. The ones that make you feel silly for being there, dismiss your feelings, and have you leaving the hospital worse than when you came. It was awful. My blood pressure was extremely high and it took them awhile to get it back down. I was tested for pre-eclampsia and it was negative, but instead of taking further tests and going out of the way to listen to other symptoms that I was feeling, she gave me half a dose of steroids for the baby’s lung development “just in case” and sent me home. She told me to come back tomorrow for the other dose of steroids. Thank goodness! know your body

Monday

Sunday afternoon and evening were awful. My contractions were much worse, I was extremely dizzy and short of breath… and lots of other symptoms that are TMI, but are what you experience before labor. So thank goodness that I needed to go back in anyways, although I would have gone back regardless. As soon as I came into my room, it was a completely different atmosphere. The new nurse greeted me with a warm smile and helped me feel comfortable in every way possible. I told her of a few of my more serious symptoms and she took action right away. We tested on anything and everything that you could think of. The results? I am at high risk for pre-eclampsia and my body is getting ready for labor.

My blood pressure was still high but my nurse took action right away and I was able to be reassured even with everything going on. She kept the doctor on duty in the loop and worked together to figure out what I needed. Never once did they dismiss my feelings, they trusted that my body was telling me what I needed. Now I have to go back to triage twice a week to be monitored and to my regular doctor once a week to keep a close watch on the baby. What I learned the most through this experience – never doubt your body! TRUST your body! You know your body.

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon. I stand by every product that I recommend, but am not liable for any damage.

Find a good labor team

Although I have never been in real labor.. just have endured this experience and the feelings of preparing for labor, I can tell you (as every other mother who has given birth I am sure) how important a good labor team is. Although you can’t choose your nurses, ask for a different one if you don’t like them! If you don’t want to offend, ask it in a nice way, but do it because you need to be CALM and RELAXED.

Bedside manner makes all of the difference in the world! This also goes for your doctor – but you need to assess this situation long before labor comes along! Find a Doula or labor coach of some kind. I personally don’t have a doula, but I know people who have and who swears by them. My sisters have all used their husbands for coaching during labor and have found that works for them. I decided to go that route and my husband is my labor coach. After the last few days, I know that I made the right decision for me!

These are a couple of the books that I found very helpful for me in making this decision! There are lots of options – do what is best for you!

Your coach can help you through more than labor

I saw a completely new side of my husband yesterday. I was curious to see how he would do as my labor coach. We have been working hard together to prepare through classes and reading and although he had a great attitude, I still wondered what it would be like. My fears and curiosity was put to sleep when I saw him pack the hospital bag, make sure the car was packed, helped me get breakfast, and gave me a Priesthood Blessing before we left. He completely and utterly took care of me. The hospital scene was no different, he was there for my every need and worked just as hard as I did.

When we got home he didn’t stop taking care of me. He fed me and made sure that I was comfy on the couch and continued to get me drinks and ask me if I was okay. Sunday evening was when the contractions were very bad and I started to get dizzy. He helped me shower, held me up and let me lean against him, washed my hair for me, and he even helped me out of the shower to dry off. As I continued to get ready for bed, I came in to see my favorite movie of all time waiting for me, Tommy Boy. His actions spoke louder than words and I knew that I could trust him to help me through this – the hardest thing that I have ever been through.

Now, I am not saying that this is how it should all be! I am definitely not one to judge how you want your labor to go. Obviously medical staff cannot go home and spoil you. But what I am saying is that you need to surround yourself by people that you can trust and rely on to get you through this.

Tommy Boy… because who in the world doesn’t love this movie!?

YOU know your body… don’t let anyone tell you anything different!

At the end of the day – YOU are the one who knows YOUR body. No one else knows what you are feeling besides you. Trust that and don’t let anyone dismiss those feelings. If I wouldn’t have gone into the hospital more prepared with questions and the attitude of  “this is my body, I know something isn’t right”, then I wouldn’t be monitored and a pre-term birth could have been disastrous. I am not out of the woods yet, but I have learned how important it is to stay in-tune with your body and trust your instincts. Now it is even more important to listen to my body because I am at high risk and need to put my baby first. But, I trust that my body will tell me how to do that.

Listen to your body. It will tell you what you need to know – promise.

I promise you that your body will tell you what you need to know. Don’t be afraid to ask questions! Don’t be afraid to be wrong! I was wrong with a few of the symptoms that I have been having. But I am so glad that I pushed to know what was going on, just in case. However, I was right about some of the other symptoms that I was having and we wouldn’t have seen those without my constant asking. The most important thing is that you and your baby are safe! Put that pride aside and don’t be afraid to feel a little silly.

Use your resources! I am so grateful that I had my nose filled with books because that helped me realize what some of those symptoms could mean. Don’t scare yourself and be careful around google, but stay informed. I called my sisters and my mother so many times this week! Whatever makes you feel better – do it and don’t apologize.

I am now off of my soapbox, but I want everyone to know how important it is to know your body! Your body thanks you. 😉

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon.

 

Where Is The Respect?

I never want to get political. This blog is about loving one another encouraging each other to be the best person that you can be. You Dew You is all about you doing YOUR thing. BUT! I am sick and tired of politics tearing everyone apart. So this is going to be my little vent about America right now. Where is the respect? It is time to grow up people!! This is the opinion of one ticked off pregnant lady so take it with a grain of salt… No one asked for it, but here it is anyways.

Why I care

It is very hard to write about loving yourself and encouraging others when you are so mad at the behavior of some people. I have taken a hiatus from my blog recently for two reasons: 1) I am pregnant and have been worried about the health of my little baby – which is the most important reason. 2) I want to encourage us all to love ourselves – but how do we love ourselves when we can’t love other people? Frustrating!

Allow others to have a freakin’ opinion!

Do you know why men and women fight for our country and for our freedoms? So that we can have opinions! It is good to have an opinion. It is good to be different! Differences are a GOOD thing! Agreeing to disagree is a quality that we have lost as a society and it’s ridiculous. What ever happened to respecting others and seeing them as human beings instead of which candidate that they voted for? First of all, it is so childish. Second of all, that makes you just as much of a jerk as the person you are judging. I have several friends that voted differently than I did and although I don’t agree with the way that they think… I respect their right to have an opinion! Sheesh people let’s love one another a little bit shall we?

If you expect others to respect your opinion, you need to respect the opinions of others! It’s as simple as that.

“Putting others down never makes you feel better about yourself”

Do we remember this great saying? I think we have all forgotten about it. Please tell me, does calling someone a bad name make you feel any better about yourself? It may for the time being, but honestly in the long run you become a lonely and sad human being.

I know of a better option! Anytime you treat someone with LOVE and KINDNESS, you will feel so much better about your life and yourself! We really all need to try it!

Listen to hear, listen to understand respect

When was the last time that you sat down with someone and truly listened to understand where they are coming from? From the news, it seems that it has been a very long time for some people. The biggest problem with the world today is that we are very bad listeners. We don’t care what others think, we only care about what we think. That behavior is getting very old, very fast. I saw this quote by Stephen R. Covey and realized that it is so true! Take the time to stop and listen to someone to understand them and not just to argue.

Find common ground

There is ALWAYS common ground! There is one person that I am thinking of in particular and our political views are 100% completely different. I don’t even think there is one thing that we agree on politically. However, she has a deep love for dogs and animals. I also love all animals – especially dogs. That has been one way that I have been able to keep and maintain a friendship. There are several people that I go to church with that have different political views than me, but we are all children of God! There is good in every single person – we just need to be the people that look for the good.

Do the best that you can. Research everything on both sides of the conflict. Stand up for what you believe in! But don’t trash the city, don’t promote violence, don’t call each other names. Stand up for what you believe in and then RESPECT other people’s right to stand up for what they believe in. Do not tell me what you believe and expect me to respect it when you will not allow me to tell you what I believe in. Respect does not work that way.

If you truly want to love who you are and embrace who you are – love others and embrace who they are. The world needs kind and respectful people now more than ever. Decide to be that person.

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon. I stand by every product that I recommend, but am not liable for any damage.

If you are interested in reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey, you can find it here.

 

Why I Start Packing 4 Months in Advance – For My Sanity

Getting ready to move? Feeling a little overwhelmed of everything that you have to do? Oh hey friend! Me too. ME TOO. You may find my methods to be too extreme for you, and that’s okay. But it keeps my sanity! Every since I was a little girl I would start packing for trips days in advance. I think I started packing for college the day after I graduated High School. It is who I am and I refuse to apologize because it keeps me sane. It is one area of my life that always has to be organized! (Unpacking is a completely different story… but let’s just forget about the unpacking).

Zach and I are moving to Idaho in May and expecting a little girl in March. Whew! It’s going to be a busy springtime for us. This definitely motivated me to start packing NOW because I am not going to be up to packing on zero sleep and feeding a newborn constantly. However, I still know that I would be starting soon even if we weren’t expecting a baby. You don’t necessarily need to become a “packing freak” like me, but I hope you find this list of tips and tricks helpful for you as you prepare to move.

Lists, Lists, Listspacking

Start with lists! All of the lists! (I am also a list freak. My husband gets me cute list stationary and I am as happy as can be). Write down categories, to do lists, and figure out your priorities through your lists. What can be packed now? What can be packed last minute? Is there anything that you can get rid of? Write it down, write it down. Then make a plan of how to execute!

My main lists include:

  • To Do list before Idaho – this list contains every single thing that we have to accomplish before the move. Including taxes, financial prep, insurance prep, to the simplest task of starting to collect plastic bags from the grocery store and getting our horse to the Vet. It’s awesome! I stay on track and know if I am accomplishing anything.
  • What I can pack now – this list contains everything that can be boxed up and moved into storage right now without us needing anything. So far, I have packed up winter clothes, skinny clothes, holiday decorations, and my “off season” decorations. Believe me – there is so much that you can get out of your way that you don’t even realize!
  • You Dew You – this list contains everything that I need to do to make sure that I can keep the blog up and going during this crazy time in my life.
  • Packing List: Cortez – Yes, I still have so much stuff at my parents! (No judging) So this list contains everything that I want to get from Cortez to move with us to Idaho.

These are just some examples of the lists that I am using to prepare us from the move! My husband calls these lists my brain – and indeed they are my friends.

Declutter!!

Get rid of the things that you don’t need anymore! It is so much easier to throw the old crap away than it is to carry it with you across the country, state, or even city! I took a huge bag to GoodWill a few days ago and let me tell you – that felt good. I recommend organizing your house before you even start to think about packing. If you are interested in what you can do to your whole house before you start, you can check out my post on 5 Quick Ways To Get Yourself Organized.

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon. I stand by every product that I recommend, but am not liable for any damage.

Tools for the job

This is pretty short because it is very self explanatory – but worth mentioning! Laugh all you want but there are tools that are so helpful that prepare me to move. Obviously there are the boxes, tape, markers, and the stuff that you are actually moving haha. But I am talking about organizing tools. I love the cloth bins that I can organize my collectibles in. I also love the plastic bins that will last you forever and small disgusting animals can’t get through them. I am an avid Amazon shopper and they have the greatest organizing tools for moving! (Plus you can use the cardboard boxes that they come in!) It’s a win-win! 

Label, Label, Label

I label practically everything! Once you have decided what can be packed now, the chances of completely forgetting what are in those boxes are pretty high. I have already forgotten what I packed last week… but because I label EVERYTHING I can just look on the box and know what is in the box. Overdoing it? You may think so, and my husband laughs at me, but it drives me crazy when I lose things! I love cute little labels that I can print out and put on each box to be able to write down every little thing that the box holds. Buuuuut that’s not always the case. Good ol’ masking tape works great. I don’t write directly on the boxes because I may want to use the boxes for something else later. (I told you I was a packing freak – this is just barely getting into it! Haha).

Be specific. Don’t just put “bathroom”. Well that could be anything! I put the room it came from/will go to and then list the contents of the box. But find a happy medium. I had a box full of lingerie that I used to fit in and I don’t want people to know that’s what it is! So I just put “stuff ;)” like a little inside joke to myself. It will be fun, I will laugh about it later. You can find really cute/useful labels on Amazon.  

Storage room for boxes

If you don’t have the storage space for all of these boxes, you may not want to start so soon. Zach and I are living around boxes, but I am about to pop a baby out and living amongst boxes sounds so much better to me than to have to pack right after having a baby. If it won’t bother you, go for it! But if that will drive you bonkers I would wait. There are things that you can do now to prepare for then. Make those lists and get organized. You can even organize your stuff into categories in different rooms. I know what kinds of stuff I want in the same boxes and so I will organize them together in the same drawer until I can throw them into a box.

packing

“This is way too much work!”. I have heard this before haha and I admit that it is a ton of work. Find whatever works for you! This is definitely what works for me. I don’t have the luxury of having the next 3-4 months to focus on packing. I have maybe a month of that to really think about it. That’s not enough time for me! Even if I wasn’t having a baby, I am all about spreading out the work over time so that I can have time for date nights with my husband, work, hobbies, and keeping my sanity! Feeling accomplished helps me feel that I am the best me that I can be! You dew whatever works for you, my friends.

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post.

My Life is NOT Put Together… And That’s Okay!

By the show of hands – how many of you have your life completely and 100% put together all of the time!? If you do, this post is definitely not for you! Please comment and tell me ALL of your secrets because I need all of the help I can get. I am the type of personality that has severe stress in their life. “Oh, she must have a rough life” you may be thinking. Haha! Not even! I stress about everything. I stress about stress before there is even anything to stress about. The weather isn’t what I thought it would be!? Stress. My hair has a funny bump in it? Stress. I can’t get the dang horse to load in the trailer? (Haha funny story.. but not really). Stress.

My dad always tells me that stress is going to be the thing that kills me – I will literally die of stress. Did you even know that’s a thing!? Because it totally is… and it would happen to me. But I have made the decision that stress is not going to run my life. My life is not and will never be “put together” and I am completely okay with that! I’m going to enjoy living in the mess of life! Yep! That’s my life now. 🙂

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon. I stand by every product that I recommend, but am not liable for any damage.

(However if you do need help coping… here are some stress balls that I totally recommend. Just squeeze through the pain of life haha. Not joking though.) 

Let the little things go. Nope. Shhhh. Let them go.

Every person has their favorite thing to stress over… you know, that pet peeve that drives you crazy. Mine is having a dirty house. I am a complete grinch when the house is dirty. But instead of rolling up my sleeves and doing a little bit at a time, I complain about it grouchily and stress about it while I sit there reading a book. Does that even make any sense? No. No it does not. Then there is the other side of me that has everything in it’s place and as soon as the dogs walk on my dirty floor I think the world is going to end. There is not an in-between me. It’s one or the other.

What is the problem with the entire situation? Stress! If I could just do my best and work on little things at a time and then FORGET about it until I face the situation again, life would be so much easier. Remember that there will always be dirty clothes, dirty dishes, and cute little hand prints and paw prints everywhere. That’s the life! And you know what? That’s a pretty dang good life. Let the little things GO and don’t think about them until you need to.

stress

Get enough sleep

This one is a huuuuuuge problem for me. Right now is especially taking it’s toll as I am in my 3rd trimester and sleeping just isn’t in the cards for me. Turns out I am a grumpy lady when I don’t sleep enough.. huh. Who knew. Stress is one of the biggest causes of not sleeping well. So many people lay and think about their problems instead of sleeping. It’s hard to do! I have been doing that all week because of this silly horse that we love oh so much, but want to strangle at the same time. Learn to compartmentalize and rest at night so that  you feel at least somewhat refreshed the next morning. Life is never going to be perfect, but sleeping helps us face the day to day tasks!

Take it one day at a time

I have found that this advice works great for me. If I can just make it through one day, then I can make it through tomorrow. Honestly, there aren’t many things in life that lead me to this much desperation – but at times it seems hard to make it through the day. I remember when my niece and my sister-in-law were in this hospital and it felt like my whole family had to take it one day at a time. Those were rough times! But through the help of Jesus Christ and through finding small accomplishments and miracles throughout the day, we realized that it was possible. Again, no one’s life is perfect and we are just silly to think that!

Don’t compare yourself to others

Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’. I promise you, their life isn’t as perfect as you think it is. I always pictured myself to be like some pregnant women that I knew who always had their make-up on, their finest clothes, cute shoes, and the “pregnancy glow”. Mmhmm I was going to be like that! Hahaha let’s all laugh together. That is NOT the pregnancy that I have. It’s a great day when my make-up is on before noon – much less at all. But there are a few things that I didn’t ever consider.

  1. Everyone’s trials are different. Everyone’s pregnancy is different. Sure, that may be one smokin’ mama, but her pregnancy may be relatively easy while her life holds very different and very hard trials for her.
  2. It very well may be a wall, and we only see the exterior. I don’t know about you guys, but I am pretty dang good at putting up a wall when I don’t want anyone to see the truth. It happens to anybody.

The best person to compare yourself to is to you! Push yourself. Focus on the good things about others and about you.

Find the good and hold onto it! stress

The best way to stop stressing (besides using good stress fighting objects) is to find the positive in each situation. Sometimes that can be hard! But guaranteed it works! Make sure to find time in your busy schedule to find hobbies and do them! Take time out of your day to quilt, read, spend time in the mountains, or whatever it is that helps you gain new perspective on life. I love to sit down to a good book or spend some good quality time in the outdoors to help relieve my stress and be ready for a fresh start again. Don’t feel guilty to take time for you. It’s important to relieve stress and get a new take on life!

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post.

What I Want My Daughter To Know About Gilmore Girls

Who else caught the Gilmore Girls bug? Heaven knows I’m not the only one! I waited anxiously, along with the rest of the women in the world, for Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. I LOVED the first seven seasons of Gilmore Girls and cram watched them right before the new one came out. Watching them while pregnant with a little girl was so special to me! Lorelai and Rory’s relationship motivated me to have a fun and close relationship with my daughter. I do have to say – there are a few things that I want my daughter to know when we watch it together. (Because believe me, we are going to watch it together).

My family and I are BIG on collecting timeless classics on DVD. Gilmore Girls, in my humble opinion, is a timeless classic! You can buy the whole season collection here.

I am going to be completely honest in this review, but I believe in agreeing to disagree. If you disagree with me – that is okay! That is why I write on this blog. You dew you, my friends!

gilmore girls

Always be yourself

As much as I love the Gilmore ladies, I don’t like how Rory changes for the men that she dates. Now, don’t get me wrong – it is good to try new things and explore new hobbies with different people. However, I don’t think that pretending to be someone your not is healthy for you or for a relationship. Eventually you start to change and move away from who you really are, which is not good!

In the first few seasons, I loved Rory! She was a sweet, innocent girl who thought about others before herself. After changing who she was to impress different guys, she changed into a different Rory than we all knew and loved. At first, I was super disappointed in how this was written. But honestly, I think it is a great example to show my daughter what happens when you change who you really are for others.

It’s okay to depend on others

I admire Lorelai for many reasons! She handled her rough childhood like a real woman and she did what needed to be done, she worked hard for her and her daughter and never made excuses, and she was a fantastic business owner who always put her daughter first. I could go on and on… I loved Lorelai’s character.

gilmore girlsHowever! One thing that bugged me was that she felt like she needed to do everything on her own. She had so many people who loved her and was willing to help her out. But her dang pride! Luke was there, Sookie was there, the whole town was there! Honestly, I never blamed her for not wanting help from her parents (but I will talk about that later). Anywho! One thing that I want my daughter to know is that it is okay to depend on others as long as you are willing to let others depend on you.

The biggest thing that I want my daughter to know about this specifically, is that it is okay to depend on a man. *Gasp!* I realize that some women believe that they don’t need a man, and that’s okay! But if there is one readily available and wanting to partner up and help you out – there is nothing wrong with that. I want my daughter to now that her father and I are a team, we love each other, and we depend on each other. There are thinks that I can’t do without my husband – I deeply depend on him. I want my daughter to know that doesn’t make me any less of a woman.

It’s NEVER okay to cheat. Ever.

Ahem. Alright this BUGGED me. I hope I’m not the only one that was appalled when Rory slept with Dean after he was already married. Did I miss Dean? Yes. Did I want Rory to be friends with him? Yes. Did I want Rory to help Dean cheat on his wife!? NO! I loved Lorelai’s reaction and I thought that as a parent she handled it well. Their relationship suffered, but I am glad that Lorelai stood up for what she believed.

Then… I was willing to forgive her. I didn’t mind her relationship with Jessie – after all I think we all go through a phase of falling for the “bad boy”. (At least I did anyways). And I didn’t even mind Logan. Rory got to see the wild college scene with Logan and I don’t think that was a bad thing for her. BUT what I didn’t like was how she didn’t learn her lesson from cheating with Dean! In Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, I was so disappointed in Rory’s behavior with the way she cheated on and forgot about her boyfriend with Logan… who also had a fiance! It made me sad, and I want my daughter to know that is NEVER okay.

Family isn’t Perfect… But you still love them

I hope and pray that my relationship with my sweet little daughter will develop into Lorelai and Rory’s relationship… not Lorelai and Emily’s. All I can say is that I am so grateful for my mother. I realize that it would be so difficult to have a daughter become pregnant in high school… ouch! You would feel so many different emotions, I am sure. However, I know that my mom would do everything in her power to help me through the experience and help me succeed. I always felt so bad for Lorelai with the way that Emily made her feel. There is no way I would accept help from someone who constantly made me feel like a bad daughter/mom. So I honestly can’t blame her for avoiding her parents at all cost.

Although Emily Gilmore annoyed the heck out of me, I admired Lorelai’s decision to encourage Rory to gain a relationship with her grandparents, even if she didn’t. I loved how the story unfolded after Richard Gilmore’s death and I wish it would have shown Lorelai and Emily making up. I want my daughter to know that her grandparents are people that she loves and respects, even with differences.

The Ending gilmore girls

WOW the ending!!! Talk about cliff hanger… where we may or maynot ever find out what happens! Doesn’t that kill you!? It has been a huge controversy throughout social media, but honestly I haven’t thought much about who the father is.. yada yada. But remember… this whole review is what I want my daughter to know so yeah, I can see how you can get caught up in the controversy.

There are two things that I want my daughter to know about the ending – 1) pregnancy is a real consequence of the way that Rory was living. Having one night stands and sleeping with a man who already has a fiance (or you know.. sleeping around at all) can lead to pregnancy! (Uh duh). But I want her to see this as an example of like wow it can happen to anyone. 2) She can come to me with ANYTHING. I want my daughter to be honest with me no matter what – even if I won’t like it. I have always admired Lorelai for that and I want my daughter to come to me and not avoid me.

Honestly, I was a little disappointed with the new addition to Gilmore Girls, but I am still and will always be a fan of this show. Be more like Lorelai and do your thing without caring what other people think! The world would be a much better place if we all stopped trying impress others and did what makes us happy.