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Daily Goodies: January 12, 2017

Don’t Mess With a Pregnant Mama

It doesn’t matter if you have kids, thinking about having kids, experienced this through the eyes of a loving and patient husband, or if you are pregnant right now… the one thing that we all know is DON’T mess with a pregnant mama! Haha let’s take a moment and laugh about this. After all, it is a funny stereotype right? Uhh yeah sure unless you are at the brunt of it. Or the one going through it. Then, well, it might not be as funny.

The term “mama bear” should be found in the dictionary right under “Pregnant”. It makes sense! All of the hormones are surging through these poor women’s bodies and let’s be honest, they can’t help it! So let’s talk about what a beautiful thing is happening! This woman is sacrificing life and limb, being forced out of her comfort zone, and bringing a new life into the world. Incredible! So why is it, that it’s socially acceptable to judge every single step of this journey?

don't mess with a pregnant mama

Knock it off

As a pregnant woman, there is nothing more frustrating than someone who likes to tell you exactly what you should be doing. I will try to leave the disgusting bits out – because if only everyone knew what happens to the body – just ew. Haha! But really this is an uncomfortable time! Please just leave the poor mother alone and let her do her thing. I don’t know if this is just a me thing, but it is hard to feel good while being pregnant. You feel big, bloated, ugly, and slobbish. It’s hard to feel good about yourself anyways – much less with the “know it alls” that judge you on your every move. So… let’s talk about the “No-No’s of Pregnant Mom Shaming”.

There is a REASON that you don’t want to mess with a pregnant woman… and these are why!

1. For the love – Do not say “You have nothing to worry about”

Ahhhh I don’t even know where to begin with this! First of all, do you even have kids!?! If you do, imagine someone telling you not to worry about your kids. Does it even make sense!? Yes, pregnancy is complicated. Yes, there are a lot of things that come up that aren’t anything to worry about. But it’s not you going through it!!

Unless you are the OB/GYN that is taking care of the pregnant mother… for the love of good brown gravy DO NOT tell her that she has nothing to worry about. It doesn’t matter what pregnancy you are on, your 1st or your 9th, you are still going to worry about that little baby. Even if the pregnancy is healthy as can be with no red flags… the mom is going to worry. Let her worry. Let her be a mom. Mind your own P’s and Q’s. The end.

don't mess with a pregnant mama

2. Do not say “Get sleep now because you won’t when the baby get’s here”

As a pregnant mother running off of about 3 good hours of sleep from last night… I will seriously throat punch the next person that tells me this. It doesn’t matter how much I love you… If you say this to me… RUN! Now, I realize that the people who say this mean well and they have a great point. But that’s the thing. We already know that we are going to get zero sleep once that sweet little baby is here. Hearing that we probably won’t sleep again until we die is not exactly something that pregnant women want to hear. Can you blame them? It’s also not like you can store sleep… because if I could then you wouldn’t even need to remind me to do so! Just shhhh about sleep subjects and we too will pretend it is a fantasy.

3. Do not just touch a woman’s belly

Honestly, this one doesn’t bother me as much. I’ve had several people touch my belly without asking and it’s never bothered me. Unless it’s a stranger (Yes that really does happen! Who does that!?). But, stop and think about it, it’s pretty rude to just reach out and rub someone else’s body part. Quite weird actually. If you are dying to touch at least have the decency to ask. It cracks me up because my mom and my mother-in-law are the best at asking. When really they should be the ones to just reach out and grab. I admire their manners… Everyone else should too. Ask before you touch people!

4. Do not comment on the woman’s weight

Should this really have to be on my list!? Should you ever just comment on anyone’s weight!? The world though… it shocks me. I have heard several times from people that I know very well to people that i hardly know comment on my weight. It’s all been different. Some say, “wow you look so small, she must be a small baby”. Others say, “remember that you are going to have to get that weight off after she get’s here”. Can I just say that neither of those comments make me feel good. Pregnancy is a sensitive time! Leave the poor women alone!

There may be something wrong. Think before you speak.

My pregnancy has been a rare one according to my doctor. This sweet little girl has a big daddy (lucky Mama hehe) and has been measuring very large during each appointment. Until recently. Her weight has been fluctuating to the point of being very very big to being very very small over just a few weeks. I gained 20lbs between two appointments and then only 1lb the next. My doctor has been confused and worried about this, especially with other signs that have come up in earlier ultrasounds. When I hear comments about my weight, it makes me feel like a failure and it makes me worry even more about my little girl.

So 1 – you never know what mom’s are going through! Shut your mouths and say things like, “you look great” because no matter what, a pregnant woman looks great! And 2 – refer back to “No-No #1” and never ever ever tell the mom to not worry. You don’t know what it’s like to be in her position.

A pregnant woman is always beautiful. don't mess with a pregnant mama

I am going to gain as much weight as I gain and that’s that. Will it stick to me like glue? Maybe. Will it be super hard to get off? Maybe. But you know what? I don’t care what weight I have as long as my little baby get’s here safely and healthily. So back off people… weight is such a frivolous thing and we need to stop worrying about it. Let the mom worry about it ok? Ok. 🙂 Remember what they are going through – sheesh they are always beautiful!

5. Do not tell her what is right for her baby

There are millions of people on this planet and no family is the same. Each family has their own plans, goals, and aspirations. It’s as simple as that! One woman is going to be in the middle of a huge career when she decides to have a baby. Another woman is going to be in the middle of getting her degree when she decides to have a baby. The fact is, there is no “easy” way to raise a child. So why don’t we let each mom decide what is best? Will it be hard? Yes. Is it anyone else’s business besides the parents? No. It will all work out! Let her figure it out. 🙂

Share some love – not shame.

I’ve always believed in letting other people do their own thing. As you can see from this whole post… I am very passionate and opinionated about this topic (maybe because I have been in these situations). But, I believe that it is sooo important to let others live the lives that they think is best for them in general! Unfortunately, it is socially acceptable to be judgemental and tell others how to live their lives. But you know what? It’s really not. It’s rude and degrading. If you are worried about someone else, there are so many helpful and positive things that you can do for them! Serve them, pray for them, tell them that you are always there for them if they need advice, but don’t gossip about them. You dew you, and never apologize for it.