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Category: Real Talk

Know Your Body – Why It Is Important To Listen To It!

What an odd topic – know your  body? What does that even mean? Well let me tell you! The last two days have been crazy and exhausting… but I have learned some very important lessons. This whole post is about pregnancy/labor, so I apologize to those of you that this doesn’t apply. However, for any medical experiences it is important to know that no one knows your body like you do. Today I learned how important that is!

know your body Our Backstory

A week ago from today we were sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for an ultrasound to see if our little girl was down syndrome or if she had grown out of her symptoms. It was scary, but we saw another miracle when we looked at the screen to not only see a healthy baby, but a 5 1/2 lb. baby girl advancing at an early stage. Our doctor was shocked to see this 35 week appearing baby when I was only 33 weeks along. We were told that we wouldn’t be making it full term with this baby and that she was healthy and advanced in her development. Great and relieving news! We went over every detail of what to expect in pre-term labor and when I needed to head to triage.

This is important!! Find yourself an amazing doctor who listens to you and never dismisses your feelings! If you have a doctor like this, it is not worth it and you need to find another one! I am so grateful that my doctor has never dismissed my feelings and has always respected the questions that I have.

Our Present Story – Sunday

Fast forward about 4 days and the questions that I had asked my doctor were coming true. I experienced a whole day of very irregular, but very real feeling contractions. Real as in Braxton Hicks.. but like serious Braxton Hicks haha these were not small. I didn’t think too much of it but then I felt them throughout the entire night. I woke my husband up at 6:30am on Sunday, Jan 29th and told him that I needed to go to the hospital – and soon. We hurried up and got everything ready and then headed to the hospital. I had contractions the entire way to the hospital and then in the bathroom as I left my urine sample… but nooo of course they stop completely as soon as I am hooked up on the monitor haha. Of course!

I got “one of those” nurses. The ones that make you feel silly for being there, dismiss your feelings, and have you leaving the hospital worse than when you came. It was awful. My blood pressure was extremely high and it took them awhile to get it back down. I was tested for pre-eclampsia and it was negative, but instead of taking further tests and going out of the way to listen to other symptoms that I was feeling, she gave me half a dose of steroids for the baby’s lung development “just in case” and sent me home. She told me to come back tomorrow for the other dose of steroids. Thank goodness! know your body

Monday

Sunday afternoon and evening were awful. My contractions were much worse, I was extremely dizzy and short of breath… and lots of other symptoms that are TMI, but are what you experience before labor. So thank goodness that I needed to go back in anyways, although I would have gone back regardless. As soon as I came into my room, it was a completely different atmosphere. The new nurse greeted me with a warm smile and helped me feel comfortable in every way possible. I told her of a few of my more serious symptoms and she took action right away. We tested on anything and everything that you could think of. The results? I am at high risk for pre-eclampsia and my body is getting ready for labor.

My blood pressure was still high but my nurse took action right away and I was able to be reassured even with everything going on. She kept the doctor on duty in the loop and worked together to figure out what I needed. Never once did they dismiss my feelings, they trusted that my body was telling me what I needed. Now I have to go back to triage twice a week to be monitored and to my regular doctor once a week to keep a close watch on the baby. What I learned the most through this experience – never doubt your body! TRUST your body! You know your body.

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon. I stand by every product that I recommend, but am not liable for any damage.

Find a good labor team

Although I have never been in real labor.. just have endured this experience and the feelings of preparing for labor, I can tell you (as every other mother who has given birth I am sure) how important a good labor team is. Although you can’t choose your nurses, ask for a different one if you don’t like them! If you don’t want to offend, ask it in a nice way, but do it because you need to be CALM and RELAXED.

Bedside manner makes all of the difference in the world! This also goes for your doctor – but you need to assess this situation long before labor comes along! Find a Doula or labor coach of some kind. I personally don’t have a doula, but I know people who have and who swears by them. My sisters have all used their husbands for coaching during labor and have found that works for them. I decided to go that route and my husband is my labor coach. After the last few days, I know that I made the right decision for me!

These are a couple of the books that I found very helpful for me in making this decision! There are lots of options – do what is best for you!

Your coach can help you through more than labor

I saw a completely new side of my husband yesterday. I was curious to see how he would do as my labor coach. We have been working hard together to prepare through classes and reading and although he had a great attitude, I still wondered what it would be like. My fears and curiosity was put to sleep when I saw him pack the hospital bag, make sure the car was packed, helped me get breakfast, and gave me a Priesthood Blessing before we left. He completely and utterly took care of me. The hospital scene was no different, he was there for my every need and worked just as hard as I did.

When we got home he didn’t stop taking care of me. He fed me and made sure that I was comfy on the couch and continued to get me drinks and ask me if I was okay. Sunday evening was when the contractions were very bad and I started to get dizzy. He helped me shower, held me up and let me lean against him, washed my hair for me, and he even helped me out of the shower to dry off. As I continued to get ready for bed, I came in to see my favorite movie of all time waiting for me, Tommy Boy. His actions spoke louder than words and I knew that I could trust him to help me through this – the hardest thing that I have ever been through.

Now, I am not saying that this is how it should all be! I am definitely not one to judge how you want your labor to go. Obviously medical staff cannot go home and spoil you. But what I am saying is that you need to surround yourself by people that you can trust and rely on to get you through this.

Tommy Boy… because who in the world doesn’t love this movie!?

YOU know your body… don’t let anyone tell you anything different!

At the end of the day – YOU are the one who knows YOUR body. No one else knows what you are feeling besides you. Trust that and don’t let anyone dismiss those feelings. If I wouldn’t have gone into the hospital more prepared with questions and the attitude of  “this is my body, I know something isn’t right”, then I wouldn’t be monitored and a pre-term birth could have been disastrous. I am not out of the woods yet, but I have learned how important it is to stay in-tune with your body and trust your instincts. Now it is even more important to listen to my body because I am at high risk and need to put my baby first. But, I trust that my body will tell me how to do that.

Listen to your body. It will tell you what you need to know – promise.

I promise you that your body will tell you what you need to know. Don’t be afraid to ask questions! Don’t be afraid to be wrong! I was wrong with a few of the symptoms that I have been having. But I am so glad that I pushed to know what was going on, just in case. However, I was right about some of the other symptoms that I was having and we wouldn’t have seen those without my constant asking. The most important thing is that you and your baby are safe! Put that pride aside and don’t be afraid to feel a little silly.

Use your resources! I am so grateful that I had my nose filled with books because that helped me realize what some of those symptoms could mean. Don’t scare yourself and be careful around google, but stay informed. I called my sisters and my mother so many times this week! Whatever makes you feel better – do it and don’t apologize.

I am now off of my soapbox, but I want everyone to know how important it is to know your body! Your body thanks you. 😉

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon.

 

Where Is The Respect?

I never want to get political. This blog is about loving one another encouraging each other to be the best person that you can be. You Dew You is all about you doing YOUR thing. BUT! I am sick and tired of politics tearing everyone apart. So this is going to be my little vent about America right now. Where is the respect? It is time to grow up people!! This is the opinion of one ticked off pregnant lady so take it with a grain of salt… No one asked for it, but here it is anyways.

Why I care

It is very hard to write about loving yourself and encouraging others when you are so mad at the behavior of some people. I have taken a hiatus from my blog recently for two reasons: 1) I am pregnant and have been worried about the health of my little baby – which is the most important reason. 2) I want to encourage us all to love ourselves – but how do we love ourselves when we can’t love other people? Frustrating!

Allow others to have a freakin’ opinion!

Do you know why men and women fight for our country and for our freedoms? So that we can have opinions! It is good to have an opinion. It is good to be different! Differences are a GOOD thing! Agreeing to disagree is a quality that we have lost as a society and it’s ridiculous. What ever happened to respecting others and seeing them as human beings instead of which candidate that they voted for? First of all, it is so childish. Second of all, that makes you just as much of a jerk as the person you are judging. I have several friends that voted differently than I did and although I don’t agree with the way that they think… I respect their right to have an opinion! Sheesh people let’s love one another a little bit shall we?

If you expect others to respect your opinion, you need to respect the opinions of others! It’s as simple as that.

“Putting others down never makes you feel better about yourself”

Do we remember this great saying? I think we have all forgotten about it. Please tell me, does calling someone a bad name make you feel any better about yourself? It may for the time being, but honestly in the long run you become a lonely and sad human being.

I know of a better option! Anytime you treat someone with LOVE and KINDNESS, you will feel so much better about your life and yourself! We really all need to try it!

Listen to hear, listen to understand respect

When was the last time that you sat down with someone and truly listened to understand where they are coming from? From the news, it seems that it has been a very long time for some people. The biggest problem with the world today is that we are very bad listeners. We don’t care what others think, we only care about what we think. That behavior is getting very old, very fast. I saw this quote by Stephen R. Covey and realized that it is so true! Take the time to stop and listen to someone to understand them and not just to argue.

Find common ground

There is ALWAYS common ground! There is one person that I am thinking of in particular and our political views are 100% completely different. I don’t even think there is one thing that we agree on politically. However, she has a deep love for dogs and animals. I also love all animals – especially dogs. That has been one way that I have been able to keep and maintain a friendship. There are several people that I go to church with that have different political views than me, but we are all children of God! There is good in every single person – we just need to be the people that look for the good.

Do the best that you can. Research everything on both sides of the conflict. Stand up for what you believe in! But don’t trash the city, don’t promote violence, don’t call each other names. Stand up for what you believe in and then RESPECT other people’s right to stand up for what they believe in. Do not tell me what you believe and expect me to respect it when you will not allow me to tell you what I believe in. Respect does not work that way.

If you truly want to love who you are and embrace who you are – love others and embrace who they are. The world needs kind and respectful people now more than ever. Decide to be that person.

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon. I stand by every product that I recommend, but am not liable for any damage.

If you are interested in reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey, you can find it here.

 

My Life is NOT Put Together… And That’s Okay!

By the show of hands – how many of you have your life completely and 100% put together all of the time!? If you do, this post is definitely not for you! Please comment and tell me ALL of your secrets because I need all of the help I can get. I am the type of personality that has severe stress in their life. “Oh, she must have a rough life” you may be thinking. Haha! Not even! I stress about everything. I stress about stress before there is even anything to stress about. The weather isn’t what I thought it would be!? Stress. My hair has a funny bump in it? Stress. I can’t get the dang horse to load in the trailer? (Haha funny story.. but not really). Stress.

My dad always tells me that stress is going to be the thing that kills me – I will literally die of stress. Did you even know that’s a thing!? Because it totally is… and it would happen to me. But I have made the decision that stress is not going to run my life. My life is not and will never be “put together” and I am completely okay with that! I’m going to enjoy living in the mess of life! Yep! That’s my life now. 🙂

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post for Amazon. I stand by every product that I recommend, but am not liable for any damage.

(However if you do need help coping… here are some stress balls that I totally recommend. Just squeeze through the pain of life haha. Not joking though.) 

Let the little things go. Nope. Shhhh. Let them go.

Every person has their favorite thing to stress over… you know, that pet peeve that drives you crazy. Mine is having a dirty house. I am a complete grinch when the house is dirty. But instead of rolling up my sleeves and doing a little bit at a time, I complain about it grouchily and stress about it while I sit there reading a book. Does that even make any sense? No. No it does not. Then there is the other side of me that has everything in it’s place and as soon as the dogs walk on my dirty floor I think the world is going to end. There is not an in-between me. It’s one or the other.

What is the problem with the entire situation? Stress! If I could just do my best and work on little things at a time and then FORGET about it until I face the situation again, life would be so much easier. Remember that there will always be dirty clothes, dirty dishes, and cute little hand prints and paw prints everywhere. That’s the life! And you know what? That’s a pretty dang good life. Let the little things GO and don’t think about them until you need to.

stress

Get enough sleep

This one is a huuuuuuge problem for me. Right now is especially taking it’s toll as I am in my 3rd trimester and sleeping just isn’t in the cards for me. Turns out I am a grumpy lady when I don’t sleep enough.. huh. Who knew. Stress is one of the biggest causes of not sleeping well. So many people lay and think about their problems instead of sleeping. It’s hard to do! I have been doing that all week because of this silly horse that we love oh so much, but want to strangle at the same time. Learn to compartmentalize and rest at night so that  you feel at least somewhat refreshed the next morning. Life is never going to be perfect, but sleeping helps us face the day to day tasks!

Take it one day at a time

I have found that this advice works great for me. If I can just make it through one day, then I can make it through tomorrow. Honestly, there aren’t many things in life that lead me to this much desperation – but at times it seems hard to make it through the day. I remember when my niece and my sister-in-law were in this hospital and it felt like my whole family had to take it one day at a time. Those were rough times! But through the help of Jesus Christ and through finding small accomplishments and miracles throughout the day, we realized that it was possible. Again, no one’s life is perfect and we are just silly to think that!

Don’t compare yourself to others

Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’. I promise you, their life isn’t as perfect as you think it is. I always pictured myself to be like some pregnant women that I knew who always had their make-up on, their finest clothes, cute shoes, and the “pregnancy glow”. Mmhmm I was going to be like that! Hahaha let’s all laugh together. That is NOT the pregnancy that I have. It’s a great day when my make-up is on before noon – much less at all. But there are a few things that I didn’t ever consider.

  1. Everyone’s trials are different. Everyone’s pregnancy is different. Sure, that may be one smokin’ mama, but her pregnancy may be relatively easy while her life holds very different and very hard trials for her.
  2. It very well may be a wall, and we only see the exterior. I don’t know about you guys, but I am pretty dang good at putting up a wall when I don’t want anyone to see the truth. It happens to anybody.

The best person to compare yourself to is to you! Push yourself. Focus on the good things about others and about you.

Find the good and hold onto it! stress

The best way to stop stressing (besides using good stress fighting objects) is to find the positive in each situation. Sometimes that can be hard! But guaranteed it works! Make sure to find time in your busy schedule to find hobbies and do them! Take time out of your day to quilt, read, spend time in the mountains, or whatever it is that helps you gain new perspective on life. I love to sit down to a good book or spend some good quality time in the outdoors to help relieve my stress and be ready for a fresh start again. Don’t feel guilty to take time for you. It’s important to relieve stress and get a new take on life!

Disclaimer: This is an affiliated post.

Don’t Mess With a Pregnant Mama

It doesn’t matter if you have kids, thinking about having kids, experienced this through the eyes of a loving and patient husband, or if you are pregnant right now… the one thing that we all know is DON’T mess with a pregnant mama! Haha let’s take a moment and laugh about this. After all, it is a funny stereotype right? Uhh yeah sure unless you are at the brunt of it. Or the one going through it. Then, well, it might not be as funny.

The term “mama bear” should be found in the dictionary right under “Pregnant”. It makes sense! All of the hormones are surging through these poor women’s bodies and let’s be honest, they can’t help it! So let’s talk about what a beautiful thing is happening! This woman is sacrificing life and limb, being forced out of her comfort zone, and bringing a new life into the world. Incredible! So why is it, that it’s socially acceptable to judge every single step of this journey?

don't mess with a pregnant mama

Knock it off

As a pregnant woman, there is nothing more frustrating than someone who likes to tell you exactly what you should be doing. I will try to leave the disgusting bits out – because if only everyone knew what happens to the body – just ew. Haha! But really this is an uncomfortable time! Please just leave the poor mother alone and let her do her thing. I don’t know if this is just a me thing, but it is hard to feel good while being pregnant. You feel big, bloated, ugly, and slobbish. It’s hard to feel good about yourself anyways – much less with the “know it alls” that judge you on your every move. So… let’s talk about the “No-No’s of Pregnant Mom Shaming”.

There is a REASON that you don’t want to mess with a pregnant woman… and these are why!

1. For the love – Do not say “You have nothing to worry about”

Ahhhh I don’t even know where to begin with this! First of all, do you even have kids!?! If you do, imagine someone telling you not to worry about your kids. Does it even make sense!? Yes, pregnancy is complicated. Yes, there are a lot of things that come up that aren’t anything to worry about. But it’s not you going through it!!

Unless you are the OB/GYN that is taking care of the pregnant mother… for the love of good brown gravy DO NOT tell her that she has nothing to worry about. It doesn’t matter what pregnancy you are on, your 1st or your 9th, you are still going to worry about that little baby. Even if the pregnancy is healthy as can be with no red flags… the mom is going to worry. Let her worry. Let her be a mom. Mind your own P’s and Q’s. The end.

don't mess with a pregnant mama

2. Do not say “Get sleep now because you won’t when the baby get’s here”

As a pregnant mother running off of about 3 good hours of sleep from last night… I will seriously throat punch the next person that tells me this. It doesn’t matter how much I love you… If you say this to me… RUN! Now, I realize that the people who say this mean well and they have a great point. But that’s the thing. We already know that we are going to get zero sleep once that sweet little baby is here. Hearing that we probably won’t sleep again until we die is not exactly something that pregnant women want to hear. Can you blame them? It’s also not like you can store sleep… because if I could then you wouldn’t even need to remind me to do so! Just shhhh about sleep subjects and we too will pretend it is a fantasy.

3. Do not just touch a woman’s belly

Honestly, this one doesn’t bother me as much. I’ve had several people touch my belly without asking and it’s never bothered me. Unless it’s a stranger (Yes that really does happen! Who does that!?). But, stop and think about it, it’s pretty rude to just reach out and rub someone else’s body part. Quite weird actually. If you are dying to touch at least have the decency to ask. It cracks me up because my mom and my mother-in-law are the best at asking. When really they should be the ones to just reach out and grab. I admire their manners… Everyone else should too. Ask before you touch people!

4. Do not comment on the woman’s weight

Should this really have to be on my list!? Should you ever just comment on anyone’s weight!? The world though… it shocks me. I have heard several times from people that I know very well to people that i hardly know comment on my weight. It’s all been different. Some say, “wow you look so small, she must be a small baby”. Others say, “remember that you are going to have to get that weight off after she get’s here”. Can I just say that neither of those comments make me feel good. Pregnancy is a sensitive time! Leave the poor women alone!

There may be something wrong. Think before you speak.

My pregnancy has been a rare one according to my doctor. This sweet little girl has a big daddy (lucky Mama hehe) and has been measuring very large during each appointment. Until recently. Her weight has been fluctuating to the point of being very very big to being very very small over just a few weeks. I gained 20lbs between two appointments and then only 1lb the next. My doctor has been confused and worried about this, especially with other signs that have come up in earlier ultrasounds. When I hear comments about my weight, it makes me feel like a failure and it makes me worry even more about my little girl.

So 1 – you never know what mom’s are going through! Shut your mouths and say things like, “you look great” because no matter what, a pregnant woman looks great! And 2 – refer back to “No-No #1” and never ever ever tell the mom to not worry. You don’t know what it’s like to be in her position.

A pregnant woman is always beautiful. don't mess with a pregnant mama

I am going to gain as much weight as I gain and that’s that. Will it stick to me like glue? Maybe. Will it be super hard to get off? Maybe. But you know what? I don’t care what weight I have as long as my little baby get’s here safely and healthily. So back off people… weight is such a frivolous thing and we need to stop worrying about it. Let the mom worry about it ok? Ok. 🙂 Remember what they are going through – sheesh they are always beautiful!

5. Do not tell her what is right for her baby

There are millions of people on this planet and no family is the same. Each family has their own plans, goals, and aspirations. It’s as simple as that! One woman is going to be in the middle of a huge career when she decides to have a baby. Another woman is going to be in the middle of getting her degree when she decides to have a baby. The fact is, there is no “easy” way to raise a child. So why don’t we let each mom decide what is best? Will it be hard? Yes. Is it anyone else’s business besides the parents? No. It will all work out! Let her figure it out. 🙂

Share some love – not shame.

I’ve always believed in letting other people do their own thing. As you can see from this whole post… I am very passionate and opinionated about this topic (maybe because I have been in these situations). But, I believe that it is sooo important to let others live the lives that they think is best for them in general! Unfortunately, it is socially acceptable to be judgemental and tell others how to live their lives. But you know what? It’s really not. It’s rude and degrading. If you are worried about someone else, there are so many helpful and positive things that you can do for them! Serve them, pray for them, tell them that you are always there for them if they need advice, but don’t gossip about them. You dew you, and never apologize for it.

The Secret to Success in 2017!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Alright guys. I have the secret to success in 2017. Wanna hear it!? It’s really a deep secret that only I have access to – which I’m about to share…. Okay jokes. That’s not true at all. In fact, it is simple. But, I PROMISE that it is secret worthy enough that it will actually work.. ok.. here it is. the secret to success in 2017

Put God First.

Whaaaaaat!? No way. Alright so here is some real talk right now. I learned this little “secret” a very long time ago. But because I am such an imperfect human, I always need to go back and re-evaluate myself on this and sometimes, I’m just so far off it’s not even funny. But it is okay! This is why we have a God and our Savior. We are given 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances because they LOVE us and want us to be with them. What better time to re-evaluate your relationship with God than in the New Year? It’s a great time to start.

Why this is my only New Year’s resolution.

I’ve always been a huge fan of the “New Year, new me” resolutions. Unfortunately (and I am sure I am not the only one haha) I have never been super successful with them. Oh the first week of the year is fantastic! After that… not so much.

My only New Years resolution this year is to put God first. Why? Because that encompasses all other resolutions. Boom! You have a good relationship with God – He helps you improve yourself. Bada bang, bada boom. I have never made this my New Years resolution, but I have seen this work in my life. And let me tell you – it’s pretty dang cool!

Why this New Year’s resolution works for everyone.

Putting God first is the best thing that you can do! My husband and I have seen this definitely in real life… mostly with finances, but with everything! When you worship God, praise Him, pray everyday, read your scriptures, and keep a good relationship, He takes care of you. It’s as simple as that.

We are moving to Idaho in a few short months to continue our education. And uh… yeah we all know that ain’t cheap! We decided when we got married to give it 1 1/2 – 2 years to start our family so that we can be more stable financially. HA! About 9 months into our marriage we both felt like it was time to start our family. After praying about it, we took the plunge and in 10 short weeks our cute little baby will be here!! It’s been a scary ride and I know it will continue to be, but guess what? We are being taken care of. Starting a family was the best thing we could have done and we can’t imagine our lives without this cute little Squirt.

“Alright, Cheyenne. That works for you, but how in the heck is it going to work for me?” I am not here to tell you that this is what you should do. You can live your life as you please. Buuuuut I can tell you that it works! There is definitely more than one way to put God first in your lives. Find your way and stick to it!

A great place to start – stay positive!

While perusing through Facebook like I do every morning, I found one of my favorites – Kristina Kuzmic – truth bombing about her New Year’s resolution. I was like yaaaas! Preach! I am not the most positive person either, but being positive, giving others the benefit of the doubt, having faith that everything is a going to be okay, are all great places to start!! If you want to see the video that Kristina Kuzmic talks about being positive, you can see it here.

So that is the secret my friends!! It’s not much of a secret… but put it to the test. I know without a doubt that God watches out for His children and He wants us to be happy! Trust that and trust Him by putting Him first in all things. He made your personality the way it is for a reason! He loves you and wants you to love you too.

the secret to success in 2017

Good luck in the New Year! It will be a fun road together!

No Excuses – Make Yourself

I can’t believe Christmas is already over! What a fun break!! I got to go home for the holidays and completely unplug and recharge my battery. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season, and some of you I’m sure are still holidaying! It was a great time for me to think about my life and to see if it was where I wanted it to be. Uhhh – yeah I need to make some changes! But changes are good so I’m ready to get started! So here goes my new motto – “No excuses – make yourself”.

 No Excuses

The past 6 months have been… tough. My poor husband lives off of fast food. The house is always a disaster. I can’t keep up with the tasks at hand. But why? Because I am pregnant. Now don’t get me wrong – pregnancy is hard! I never gave my sisters and friends enough credit!! I also want to step on a soapbox for a moment. Never judge a pregnant woman for anything that you wouldn’t do while being pregnant. I myself have done this and it came back to bite me in the butt big time! Don’t do it. Everyone’s pregnancy is different. Some have it easy, some have it hard, and some are on bed rest the. entire. time. We don’t know so therefore we just keep our mouths shut. Okay thanks, I am off of my soapbox.

This is my first pregnancy and so I didn’t know what to expect and I feel like it has been a hard one. I am sick a lot, I am swollen, and talk about growing pains. All I want to do is sit on the couch and watch TV! Alright, I am making my point I promise. My wonderful mother listened to my complaining and told me that she knows how hard it can be, but “sometimes you just have to make yourself”. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but dang it was what I needed to hear!

no excuses make yourself

Motivate Yourself

My new motto in the next 2 1/2 months is to stop making excuses and make myself. Do I feel good? No. Can I still get things done? Yes. Now, apply this to a personal situation that you have. What excuses are you making in your life? Please please please if you have a high risk pregnancy and are feeling guilty, do NOT “tough it out”. Take care of your baby and you first. Everything else will fall into place. Same goes with any other illness. But let’s be real – we are all making excuses that we really can overcome.

Find motivation! My motivation is that I am running out of time until this little baby gets here and I am not leaving my husband hanging. (We are also moving to Idaho in May and that is coming up way quicker than I thought). So… deadlines, loved ones, or a cleaner or better lifestyle, can all be motivation to get our rear in gear and step it up. Find that motivation and put it into action.

Love the Process – Be Patient

Okay soooo this can be hard! For me, anyways. I watched a video this morning that talked about millennials and why they are so hard to work with. I was interested because as someone who wants to reach out and help others love who they are,  I have noticed that millennials can often be the ones who struggle with this the most. The video said that the millennial generation is the generation who has struggled the most with depression and having a low self-esteem. This was directly related to having excuses made for them, and making excuses themselves. There were things that I loved and things that I completely disagreed with, but it brought up a great point.

One way that we come to love who we are is by loving the process of getting there. We live in such an instant gratification world and it can be hard to be patient for things that take time. We can’t change overnight and so we make excuses of why we are the way we are. That can’t be healthy! And it isn’t! Realize that things can’t change overnight and start making goals of what you can do daily to reach your big and ultimate goal of where you want to be. Set a timeline and love the process.

If you want to watch the video that I am referring to you can watch it here.

Set Goals and Get To It!

The first thing that you need to do is figure out what is stopping you. What excuse is holding you back from being where you want to be? Once you figure out what it is, then you need to ask yourself how to get rid of it. “Make Yourself”. It’s going to be hard. You are probably going to mess up and have to start over a few times. You won’t get there tomorrow, but you CAN improve by tomorrow. Set goals that will help you improve each day. Love the process and love the small accomplishments. It is so important to love who you are – flaws and all – while telling yourself that you can and will be better tomorrow. Then actually believe it. Don’t judge another’s progress, as their 100% is different than your 100%. You Dew You, friends. Find yourself and don’t let go.

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The Expectations of Perfection Are Too Dang High!

Today I had planned talking about the cute little reindeer crafts that I created. (I am so proud of them since I don’t consider myself to be crafty). But life changed. Plans changed. And today I really feel like I need to talk about our expectations of perfection. So I will show you my cute reindeer tomorrow! The first thing I have to say about others degrading your self-worth… pish posh! I am really into that word lately haha. But seriously! It took me years to figure out that I don’t need anyone else’s opinion of myself besides mine! And sometimes my own opinion is pish posh! So let me rephrase that. The only opinion that matters is God’s.

As amazing as Christmas is (believe me it is my favorite holiday), I feel like there is a feeling of perfection that we apply to ourselves around this time of year. Don’t get me wrong – serving others and thinking about others is important!! We need to be serving and thinking of others all of the time. BUT this feeling of perfection is a disease that is spread through comparing ourselves to others. Stop doing it! (Me included- I am the worst).

What Others Think

Sometimes I think that we create these feelings on our own. But let’s be real. Sometimes people are rude and they can make you feel itty bitty. This week I have run into two situations where another person has made me feel like I wasn’t worth much, and that I wasn’t doing what I need to be doing. I’m pretty sure this happens a lot! We all have some kind of relationship where the person makes us feel like we aren’t of value, we aren’t doing our job, we are slacking, etc. etc. the list goes on. Now this is what you do… take all of the negativity… and throw it out the window! That’s where it belongs.

And again, don’t get me wrong. Always do your best! If you’re not doing your best then you need to reevaluate and start all over. BUT if you are doing your best, then that is all you can do and that is all that matters.

What You Think

The old saying, “you are your own worst critic”, is probably the most accurate saying out there! I don’t know if this is just my personality type, but I expect my life to be together 24/7, 365 days a year. And yeah that’s not ever going to happen and so instead of just trying my best, I tend to get frustrated and think that I am a failure. Wrongo! Don’t get lost in those “I’m a failure” thoughts. All of the great ones have failed not just once, but many times. We all will fail. But who cares! That is life! The mind is such a powerful thing. If we believe that we are failures, then we will believe it and treat ourselves that way. If we believe that we are successful and that we have worth, then we may fail, but we will always overcome it!

Think Positive

All we have to do is our best. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself for what your best is. Remember that everyone’s 100% is different. Get to know what your 100% is. Do your best to reach it. Keep trying. Love the journey and appreciate the days that you feel like you do have everything together. On the days that you feel overwhelmed – it is okay to step back and take a break!! We aren’t machines! We are humans! Take a deep breath, take a nap, watch your favorite TV-Show, read your favorite book. Whatever your out is, take a little bit to do it instead of killing yourself. You may not get as much done, but if your sanity is still there – success!

What God Thinks

This is the most important step of coming to love who you are – flaws and all. God’s opinion is the MOST IMPORTANT opinion of who you are. He created you and He loves you… please remember that. Sometimes that is hard for me to remember because I am so far off of loving myself. Don’t get caught up in what other people think you should be doing. It is none of their business. But it is God’s business. Pray for help. Ask Him what your priorities should be. Ask Him to see yourself the way that He sees you. Wow! That changes everything. Then remember that feeling. It is the one that TRULY matters. 🙂 Life is short. Our earthly opinions will seem silly to us very soon.

You dew you, my friends. Be yourself, love yourself, and do your best!

 

Feel Stupid? It’s All Good… We’ve All Been There.

Today was quite the day. Okay no, the last two days have been quite the days. It was the slap back into reality from having a really awesome vacation kind of days. Bleh. And man, have you ever had a conversation where you walk away feeling like a complete idiot? Come on people I know I’m not the only one. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve been waiting my whole life to talk about this because… well… it happens to me a lot. handle feeling stupid

But guess what? It doesn’t matter. We may think it’s the worst day ever. But this too shall pass. Yet… what do we do?  How do we handle it? We could be offended… OR we could….

  • LAUGH

In my mind, if I don’t laugh, I will cry (and literally we will talk about this in a minute). Laugh it off! Today I was called fat. Sure, I am pregnant and my doctor had all of the best intentions to tell me that I was gaining too much weight. I wasn’t offended by what she said, but I just felt stupid! Darn you, Thanksgiving! You betrayed me! All during this, my husband just laughed. So I laughed. And we laughed. And you know what? It was hilarious! So no need to feel stupid when you can find the humor in life.

  • CRY

Haha okay so I’m kind of kidding and kind of serious when I bring up this option. Mainly because this is an embarrassing option to admit. But hey! It has it’s perks. First of all… let’s all remember that there is no shame in sitting down and having a good cry. Was it because someone made you feel stupid? Was it because you didn’t get the dishes done? Maybe it’s just because you’re hungry. (Probably my case). Secondly… sometimes a good cry helps us clear our minds and move on with our day. Never feel guilty for a good cry! Embrace that weak moment and get it out of your system. Getting it out is definitely a better option than holding on to it for a long time.

  • SMILE

Being called fat was a super bad example because really… it was stupid (haha oh the irony!). Buuut let’s go back to that. My mind was screaming, “She actually just called you fat!”. But my face was smiling. Why? Because one weak moment of wanting to crawl under a table isn’t worth an entire relationship. Smile it out.. just get through the awkward moment. My husband tells me that I am known to have an “RBF” or a “Resting Beotch Face” where I look really grouchy when my face is relaxing. He will seriously elbow me and tell me to be nice when I am just thinking about the what movies are showing at the local theater. Hahaha but he is right and I have to constantly remind myself to smile so people don’t think that I am a judgmental jerk. Just smile it out. 🙂

So I am sure some of you are thinking that this is a super random subject to be talking about haha but realistically this is apart of everyday life. Feeling stupid, choosing to become offended, shaking off awkward encounters – yeah this happens all the time. I’m not perfect! No one is perfect! Awkward and uncomfortable moments are bound to happen in a world of imperfect people. Sure we can spend our days offended and avoiding people because they said that mean thing and made me feel stupid but psht, what would be the fun in that? Life is too short. Shake it off and enjoy life as you!